It is time to participate in The 100 word photo prompt called the Friday Fictioneer hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields of Addicted to Purple. The challenge is held every Friday. I know I’ve been MIA for a few weeks I’ve been…a…er… Okay living life, don’t we all have one? This week I have a submission. Hope you enjoy. It’s rated “G” unless you have a problem with the word naked.
This week’s PHOTO PROMPT is from Renee Heath.
Returning Home
I watch the waves hammer the shore. My tears are lost in the veil of rain, as it smacks my naked body. I’m never ready but the rumbling thunder is calling me. Timidly I step off the boardwalk and follow the wooden path to the shore. My right foot touches the water first, then my left. Immediately my tail and scales begin to return up my waist. The weather clears and no trace that I was ever on land as I swim out to sea and become the dreams of innocent girls and the folklore for drunken sailors.
Use link below to get rules and regulations:
http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2013/01/23/25-january-2013/
January 25, 2013 at 1:18 PM
Dear Kim,
It’s good to see you back. I enjoyed your mermaid’s tale. Lovely.
Shalom,
Rochelle
January 25, 2013 at 1:29 PM
Thank you Rochelle and I am happy to be back.
January 25, 2013 at 1:29 PM
A mermaid! How great! Sad though too. Thanks
January 25, 2013 at 1:32 PM
Thanks. I started out with the dark sad woman about to walk into the sea but somehow a mermaid appeared in the story. Go figure.
January 25, 2013 at 2:12 PM
Nice one, Kim
January 25, 2013 at 2:31 PM
Thanks Celeste.
January 25, 2013 at 3:46 PM
I had no idea where this was going when I started reading. I love your summing up of mermaids as, ‘the dreams of innocent girls and the folklore for the drunken sailors.’ Lovely.
January 25, 2013 at 3:50 PM
Thank you.
January 25, 2013 at 5:41 PM
Divine writing, my friend! I could picture all of this!
January 25, 2013 at 5:43 PM
Oh goody!!
January 25, 2013 at 5:54 PM
Glad to see you’re back! I like the mermaid here, and how you weave that in without saying it outright. If I could critique one thing, there are a couple of uncomfortable repetitions – “return” twice in the metamorphosis sentence, and “the” in the final sentence. Those are my two favourite sentences other than that, though!
January 25, 2013 at 5:56 PM
Thanks for reading and critiquing.
January 25, 2013 at 6:01 PM
I saw what you meant and fixed it and kept my strict 100 word count.
January 25, 2013 at 6:04 PM
love a good mermaid story. at first – because of the “innocent girls,” i thought it was a mer-man. then i realized that the innocent girls are dreaming of ariel and the little mermaid kind of thing. well done.
January 25, 2013 at 6:07 PM
Thanks Rich.
January 25, 2013 at 7:27 PM
Glad you went with the mermaid and not the dark sad woman–the mermaid worked so well.
January 25, 2013 at 7:28 PM
Thank you very much.
January 25, 2013 at 8:32 PM
Nice to see you back! I loved this! What a wonderful secret she has. I feel like I peered through a window I shouldn’t have.
January 25, 2013 at 8:34 PM
Yes that’s why it was raining. No one really goes to the beach in the rain.
January 26, 2013 at 4:22 AM
A lovely mermaid’s tale. Well done.
January 27, 2013 at 4:15 PM
Thank you Sandra.
January 26, 2013 at 5:40 AM
very well done!
January 27, 2013 at 9:39 AM
Thank you.
January 26, 2013 at 10:14 AM
Lovely story, Kim. Well told. And your definition of a mermaid in terms of human imagination is perfect.
January 27, 2013 at 9:39 AM
Thank you very much.
January 26, 2013 at 10:49 AM
Very nice. I like the build up in the beginning.
January 26, 2013 at 10:55 AM
A lovely tale, I really felt the cost of the choice she was making. Thanks for sharing it.
January 27, 2013 at 4:21 PM
Thanks. So happy you enjoyed it.
January 26, 2013 at 12:46 PM
Nice twist and nice writing!
January 27, 2013 at 9:34 AM
Thank you very much.
January 26, 2013 at 5:00 PM
Very nice with mermaids
January 27, 2013 at 9:35 AM
Thanks my muse took me there.
January 26, 2013 at 6:31 PM
Hi Kim,
A lovely mermaid tale, told with creativity and I feel like I can see her as she transforms. Ron
January 27, 2013 at 9:35 AM
Thanks Ron.
January 26, 2013 at 7:02 PM
I like how the scales return with the touch of the wave.
January 27, 2013 at 9:35 AM
Thank you.
January 26, 2013 at 10:56 PM
I enjoyed this mermaid tale. Well done.
January 27, 2013 at 9:36 AM
Thanks a lot.
January 27, 2013 at 4:54 AM
A lovely, sad mermaid tale. I hope she’s happier in the water
January 27, 2013 at 9:36 AM
She’ll be back some day.
January 27, 2013 at 4:03 PM
A Mermaid! Damn, this is good Kim. I loved the ‘rumbling thunder’ calling her… more so that I know what ‘her’ is… I can see that.
January 27, 2013 at 4:19 PM
Thanks Ted. It was thunder or Nemo, thunder preserved the mystery.
January 27, 2013 at 4:43 PM
Good choice.
January 28, 2013 at 4:06 PM
The end of the sojourn to dry land. What tales will she tell her friends in the sea?
January 28, 2013 at 4:08 PM
I haven’t thought of that one. I thought of her being sad going back to sea. Now I imagine her happy to leave this hell on land world.
Thanks for reading.
January 30, 2013 at 2:30 PM
An unexpected story! I like the phrase “the dreams of innocent girls and the folklore for drunken sailors”. But what really intrigues me is this: why is she crying?
January 30, 2013 at 4:41 PM
She didn’t want to leave. You know the green is always greener on the other side. I glad you liked it.