Thanks to Rochelle Wisoff -Fields at Addicted to Purple for hosting another week of the Addicting Friday Fictioneer. It is a where a bunch of us ink junkies use our talents to create a 100 word story using a photo prompt. Below is the photo and my story this week. Come try it out.
This week’s prompt comes from Beth Carter who took a first prize with it at the Ozarks Writers League photo contest in February. Congratulations, Beth!
I had lots of fun with this photo. As always I kept my G rated story at exactly 100 words. Critiques are always welcomed.
The Jojo Mobile
Jojo started tinkering in the garage, building his Jojo Mobile, when gas prices were rising. He hardly ate or showered for weeks. Ronnie, Ray and Steve found parts at the junkyard. He was so proud I had to hold back laughing. It reminded me of those elaborate go cars they use to race down the hill off Clarke Street back in the day.
He had everything in that car, but something was missing. As he started down the hill, in his new car he remembered what he forgot. Too Late.
The Eighteen Wheeler rolled over Jojo like a speed bump.
February 27, 2013 at 12:09 PM
Oh no, well, that was a good twist at the end! Great story, as always, Kim! Sending hugs!
February 27, 2013 at 12:21 PM
Thanks Lauren. Hugs always welcome.
February 27, 2013 at 12:36 PM
Still chucking. Next to an engine, brakes are probably the next most important thing. (I think you need “were” after “prices’–”when gas prices rising” or you could put “With gas prices rising, Jojo…” to start.
janet
February 27, 2013 at 1:05 PM
Thanks I must of lost the were during one of the re-writes.
February 27, 2013 at 1:18 PM
I know that goes!!
February 27, 2013 at 1:26 PM
February 27, 2013 at 1:38 PM
Hah! Jojo looks like my kind of motor! Peace and lightx
February 27, 2013 at 1:46 PM
February 27, 2013 at 1:52 PM
Awesome thing!
February 27, 2013 at 1:53 PM
He just needed brakes.
February 27, 2013 at 2:51 PM
Well you better have a checklist before entering the highway.. but I guess there won’t be any second attempt
February 27, 2013 at 3:00 PM
Nope, no second chances. The funeral director was pulling metal, plastic and wood chips from him days.
February 27, 2013 at 3:17 PM
Jojo must have been one smelly dude, Kim…!
Very cute story. Poor Jojo; I hope he escaped unharmed. Though, I doubt it…
Flat as a tack, I guess…..!
February 27, 2013 at 3:31 PM
Yes check out my response to the last reader.
February 27, 2013 at 3:33 PM
Haha…. Oh, poor Jojo…
No second chances for poor ole’ Jojo…
Hope you are feeling better, Kim…
February 27, 2013 at 3:35 PM
I’m still having dizzy spells. I see doc tomorrow. Regular check up. Thanks for asking.
February 27, 2013 at 3:36 PM
I’ll take a peek over the next few days to see if you’ve updated re doc visit… Hugs to you… xoxoxo
February 27, 2013 at 3:37 PM
Probably not. I only posted that post at a weaken and frustrated moment.
February 27, 2013 at 3:40 PM
I understand…
You are one tough cookie, Kim…
All the best…
February 27, 2013 at 3:41 PM
Thanks
February 27, 2013 at 3:48 PM
I missed that you said he was a smelly dude. In my first draft everyone knew when he opened the garage door.
February 27, 2013 at 3:54 PM
Hahaha….
Poor funeral director….!
February 28, 2013 at 5:15 PM
Maybe the funeral director took what was left of the body to a car wash and hosed it down. Either way, I’m sure a closed casket service was the best option.
February 28, 2013 at 6:39 PM
In one of my draft’s I had the funeral director picking metal, plastic and wood from the body.
February 27, 2013 at 3:57 PM
One sad demise! Poor fellar…!
February 27, 2013 at 3:58 PM
Yes the poor thing.
February 27, 2013 at 4:02 PM
Quite an end to what was looking like a spectacular feat.
February 27, 2013 at 4:11 PM
Yes, sad. I don’t know how he could forget the brakes.
February 27, 2013 at 4:45 PM
awe… How did he forget the brakes?
February 27, 2013 at 4:55 PM
I know, right!
February 27, 2013 at 5:32 PM
This is great. Love the ending!
February 27, 2013 at 5:32 PM
Thanks Marie.
February 27, 2013 at 5:51 PM
interesting….hmmmm
February 27, 2013 at 7:56 PM
February 27, 2013 at 6:01 PM
JoJo lost his MoJo…
Randy
February 27, 2013 at 8:00 PM
February 27, 2013 at 7:14 PM
It had to be an eighteen-wheeler? Not a motorcycle–or better still, a Vespa or a motorbike or a simple pedal-powered bicycle? Poor Jojo–definitely Pancake City after that collision. Good story.
February 27, 2013 at 8:02 PM
Too late to correct his goof. Thanks for reading.
February 27, 2013 at 7:34 PM
Brakes… or common sense? I liked how you dug the names of the guys off the sign and put them in your story. Was that ‘G Rating’ for Gore?
February 27, 2013 at 8:03 PM
February 27, 2013 at 8:48 PM
uh-oh haha what an ending. loved the name “the jojo mobile” ^^
February 27, 2013 at 9:08 PM
Thanks. Poor, poor Jojo’s
February 27, 2013 at 9:25 PM
If he didn’t eat for weeks he would’ve been dead long before the eighteen-wheeler flattened him
That really jumped out at me, not eating for weeks. Seems implausible… 
Maybe you could change it to “days at a time”, or “three days straight” or something like that. Just a suggestion. You don’t have to take it of course. 
February 27, 2013 at 9:36 PM
Ghandi at 74 went 42 days without eating. That’s 6 weeks.
but it was suppose to say hardly ate. It got lost in the re-writes. That’s for offering your insight. 
February 27, 2013 at 9:38 PM
After all that work, and not eating for weeks…so close. Nice twist at the end.
February 27, 2013 at 10:02 PM
Thanks.
February 27, 2013 at 10:32 PM
Poor Jojo
February 27, 2013 at 10:39 PM
Yep.
February 28, 2013 at 2:37 AM
Some guys just don;t get the breaks.
(Another one leaves the shallow end of the gene pool)
February 28, 2013 at 2:45 AM
He was so determined.
February 28, 2013 at 6:28 AM
Poor Jojo, All that work and starvation to become a speed bump. Some days are better than others I guess. Nice work, Kim.
shalom,
Rochelle
February 28, 2013 at 9:56 AM
He was a man on a mission.
hugs
February 28, 2013 at 8:26 AM
Oh noo!! I am actually sad for Jojo
February 28, 2013 at 9:58 AM
Great compliant that I envoked a feeling of sadness in only 100 words.
Thanks.
February 28, 2013 at 10:40 AM
aww, poor guy with the best intentions. in these lines: “He had everything in that car but something was missing. As he started down the hill in his new car he remembered what he forgot.” you might want commas after “that car” and “down the hill.” well done.
February 28, 2013 at 1:53 PM
Thanks for the suggestions and of course for reading.
February 28, 2013 at 10:50 AM
Brilliant
February 28, 2013 at 1:59 PM
Thanks.
February 28, 2013 at 12:43 PM
I guess he did not have a “Building homemade cars from Scratch For Dummies” book to go by. Engine, brakes, sterring and seats are a minimum. Poor Jojo!
February 28, 2013 at 2:01 PM
February 28, 2013 at 1:30 PM
Awww … I hope Jojo is fine
February 28, 2013 at 2:02 PM
He’s squashed.
February 28, 2013 at 3:59 PM
Jojo could have used an anchor.
February 28, 2013 at 4:01 PM
I didn’t think of that.
February 28, 2013 at 4:50 PM
UH-OH, poor JoJo!
Thanks for the visit and for the link today! What fun!
February 28, 2013 at 6:38 PM
February 28, 2013 at 5:18 PM
Like the say, “Some days you’re the bug, some days you’re the windshield.”
February 28, 2013 at 6:40 PM
I never heard that one but it’s goody.
February 28, 2013 at 9:22 PM
Poor Jojo,,,but, what would you expect from a person with the name Jojo?
Scott
http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/02/27/friday-fictioneers-312013-xxxx-genre-humorous/
February 28, 2013 at 10:30 PM
So his name actually sealed his fate.
February 28, 2013 at 11:16 PM
unexpected ending..very nice
March 1, 2013 at 5:30 PM
Thanks
March 1, 2013 at 3:43 AM
LOL, cute story, RIP Jojo.
March 1, 2013 at 5:30 PM
Thanks glad you liked it.
March 1, 2013 at 6:53 AM
Oh Woops a daisy!
Amazing how every one is coping with this pic so brilliantly.
March 1, 2013 at 5:31 PM
Yes it’s a whole lot of fun.
March 1, 2013 at 9:00 AM
Uh oh!
Hey I noticed Ron, Ray and Steve too in the prompt. So far I have just found the mention in your story. Good job!
March 1, 2013 at 5:31 PM
Thanks. Glad you noticed.
March 1, 2013 at 11:55 AM
I like your final line.
March 1, 2013 at 5:32 PM
Thanks I’m so glad.
March 1, 2013 at 7:26 PM
“elaborate go cars they use to race down the hill off Clarke Street” — the kind of information that ads depth to a piece of writing.
March 1, 2013 at 7:28 PM
Thank you kindly.
March 1, 2013 at 8:00 PM
Poor Jojo. Let’s hope he remembers the brakes in the next life
March 1, 2013 at 8:01 PM
March 1, 2013 at 11:57 PM
oh ouch! all that work just for it to be under 18 wheels.
March 2, 2013 at 12:07 AM
I know the poor guy. Thanks for reading.
March 2, 2013 at 2:17 PM
that was excellent!
March 2, 2013 at 3:27 PM
Thank you.
March 2, 2013 at 2:44 PM
Poor Jojo – a sticky end there, and after all that work too.
March 2, 2013 at 3:29 PM
Yea he should of remembered the brakes.
March 2, 2013 at 2:45 PM
Hi Kim,
Poor Jojo. Fun story and an interesting response to the prompt. ron
March 2, 2013 at 3:31 PM
Hi Ron,
Thanks. I liked this prompt.
March 3, 2013 at 6:31 AM
I like the twist, but I think it would work better if the last sentence were more outrageous. “Ran over like a speed bump” to me sounds tragic and works against the light-hearted tone of the piece. That said, I don’t have a substitute for you. Just a thought …
March 3, 2013 at 9:16 AM
Thanks Perry ran over would make a bit more dramatic.
March 4, 2013 at 8:40 AM
Loved the twist. After all that love and effort how could Jojo forget the brakes?
March 4, 2013 at 12:13 PM
Thanks for reading Sarah. Yes how could he forget.
March 4, 2013 at 9:52 PM
I can think of at least three things he could have forgotten. I’m going to guess brakes and then a horn as a close second. Either way it was a great story with a lot of feeling going into Jojo making this car. What a sad and graphic ending.
March 4, 2013 at 11:11 PM
He definitely forgot the brakes and perhaps he forgot the horn too. Thanks for reading.
March 4, 2013 at 10:01 PM
Reminds you not to focus too hard on getting the darn thing started – what if you can’t stop it?
March 4, 2013 at 11:14 PM
This is true and certainly a sad goof on Jojo’s part. Thanks for reading.
March 5, 2013 at 9:29 AM
Ouch! I was thinking it was missing an engine but I was wrong. Fun story and thank you for the morning laugh (at poor Jo Jo’s expense)!
March 5, 2013 at 9:31 AM
I’m glad you enjoyed it. I think Jojo’s in writer’s heaven laughing with you.