Sick of Being Sick

I don’t like doctors to lie to me and this ball-less anesthesiologist lied. Last Tuesday I had a third injection in my back. I was told  I wasn’t given Propofol the last time. Then he said my insurance wouldn’t pay for it. That injection hurt like hell I would have remembered that pain. I moaned, groaned and tears fell. My orthopedic doctor confirmed that I had an anesthetic last time. The anesthesiologist was scared to put me under because my breathing levels didn’t go pass the high 80’s. Big deal! They could have given me oxygen and call it a day. Why didn’t the anesthesiologist just say he was scared to put me under?

I think it will be my last. The first two times I felt good I can even dare say I was pain-free for a few weeks. But this time there was pain which I am severely allergic to.

I spent this weekend in bed watching movies. I had my usual lupus headaches that were accompanied by dizziness and my legs felt wobbly, a strange sensation. I got up to cook the meat for Sunday dinner which was finished by 10 a.m. Then I went back to bed.
I’m disappointed that I actually felt sick enough to lie in bed for two days. I even consider using oxygen. I know this lupus is an unpredictable disease. It’s messing with my psyche. That depression demon tried to pull me in. You know to feel sorry for Kim and cry the woe is me song. But I ain’t going there.

One of the movies I watched this weekend was “What Dreams May”   With Robin Williams, Cuba Gooding Jr. and Annabella Scoirra The protagonist goes to hell to save his wife’s soul, a uniquely sweet love story.



It brings up the idea of reincarnation. I believe. I want to believe that it is possible to get a do over in life, to be reborn and live another life. You find the same people to share your life with over and over. With each life, things get better and we eventually find true happiness. This is a wonderful thought but for now I need to go back to bed and try to shake whatever it is that has me feeling out of sorts.

41 thoughts on “Sick of Being Sick

  1. Oh Kim – I can relate to your experience… I don’t know why on earth the doctors think they have to edit every word they say to the patient — and I’m so sorry the reaction was not good to this injection. I have had so many too – and so few do what they are intended. This movie sound fascinating – I want to see it now ~ thank you for sharing and hope you are doing better now with the physical symptoms — much love and blessings… Robyn

    1. Thanks for your concern Robyn. My back feels a little better. But I don’t think I’m putting myself through that again. However I had two shots of flexall in my knees and get one more next week. Just want to have a few pain free days. Hope you’re doing good today. Hugs kim

      1. I know — pain free days are but a dream for me — keep trying and I will hold you in heart — the knees respond well then to the flexall — ? I’ve yet to find the magic injection — have had thousands over the years…. Working on my new program and we shall see where it leads — but you hang in, and hope better days ahead ~ xo

      2. Thanks for you care Robyn. So far the knees feel good. I spent yesterday in the mall the knees and back held up. But my breathing was bad. With lupus there’s always something. I’m sorry you suffer so bad. Through God’s will we will find comfort. You are in my prayers.

    1. Hi Dolly,

      I have good days and bad. I see the doc this week. I saw one last week and she said I’m probably didn’t handle the injection in my back well. Thanks for asking. Hope all is well with you. 😀 Hugs

      1. Thanks Kim, I feel spectacular… hahaha and I’m happy too that you sounded feeling great now… and whenever your days get tinkled you could always go over my Tooth Of The Day page to become turbo-charged once again… hehehe 🙂 Take care my friend! mmmwahhhh

  2. I’m so sorry to hear you are unwell. I haven’t had this illness myself, but a few woman in my family suffer from it. I hope you feel better soon. I always thought reincarnation was a lovely idea. I sometimes think that this is my second chance, so maybe I had better do my best. 🙂

  3. Buuu… on not feeling well & not getting the help that you need for your pain 😦
    I have not watched that movie. I just added it to my queue to watch.Hopefully I can catch it soon.I’ve been pretty busy lately.
    If we do come back – hope to cross paths again 😉

  4. I am so sorry you are suffering my simi sister. Life just seems to be one hurdle after another doesn’t it? Please rest, take your meds and continue to read, write, watch movies and stay at peace so that the pain won’t overwhelm you. Praying for you and sending you love and very gentle hugs. xx ((()))

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