The following is story written by my twelve-year-old grandson that’s in the sixth grade. I edited for him and emailed back to him so he can see the corrections. I was his age when I was bitten by the writing bug. He is so much more talented than I was. I am looking forward to helping him nurture his talent.
The Elements
By: Akein Coleman
Nature was formed by the elements that help make this world what it is today. The Elements are fire, water, earth and air. You’re in for a surprise because the same elements that help make this world are at war to see who will take over the world. Fire is for destruction and wants to take over the world but the other elements Water, Earth, and Air wants the world to be free and not enslaved by Fire.
Earth and Air decided to send Water because Water could beat Fire. They could have sent Air but they wanted to catch Fire faster and force him to save the world. Fire broke free and escaped from jail. He freed his brother Lava from the water seal that he was put in. By the time Water arrived in the dungeon to get Fire, he was escaping. When Water saw what had happen he decide to stay and fight Fire but he knew that Fire could be sneaky sometimes and use his smoke attack on water but water fought anyway because it would be too risky to lose him. Water expected fire used his smoke attack.
Fire got away so water rushed to tell the other elements that Fire had escape. That meant trouble because if fire releases his brother, Lava the whole world would be under attack and the dead elements will rise and go against the living elements and unbalance the world. When water told the other elements he caught Fire escaping and tried to stop him. Air knew he was going to the water seal to free his bother. Air knew this was going to happen and sent water to stop it and bring back fire.
In the meantime fire was plotting his revenge on water and the other elements. And figure out how he could free his brother. Fires saw some element bandits and decide to get them on his sides as warriors. Fire went to the bandits to make them join him. Fire noticed that the elements were dark Ice and Air.
When Fire told them to join him the first bandit that spoke was Ice and he said, “my name is Cold. Why should my friends and I join you? Huh?”
“Well,” said Fire as he summon fire to his hand and put it in Cold’s face I’m going to force you and your friends to join me whether you like it or not.”
Fabulous – looks like that writers seed is starting to sprout 🙂
Yes it is. He has more but punishment has kept him off the computer.
Ah…. those faithful companions – busted and grounded!!
🙂 yep.
That’s fantastic and such great characterization of the elements, which was what made it so good to read.
Thank you he’s going to love all the responses. I hope it encourages him to write more.
convey my blessings and best wishes to him
with regards
advocatemmmohan
Thank you. I will.
a well written piece. keep your imagination swirling and never give up on words!!!
Thanks he will like this comment. I’m really proud of him. Thanks for visiting, reading and commenting.
Wow! I enjoyed reading it… Amazing how young kids think… so full of imagination… all the elements suddely really come so alive…. hahaha 🙂 So beautifully written. Surely. you are so proud of him. He is very talented! “Like Grandma, Like Son”
xoxo
Thank you Dolly. I can’t wait until I let him read all the comments. I am very proud.
Wow, excellent writing! He’s really talented! 🙂
Thank you. I’m really proud of him.
That is about the same age I was when I started writing (over 40 years now). I really enjoyed his story. Please tell him so for me. I have yet to make writing my profession, but I am still having fun.
This the same for me 41 years for me. I haven’t gotten paid for my writing but I have gotten better and still dream. 🙂 I’m going to let him read the comments for himself when I visit the next time.
This is wonderful and what a talent he has, Kim, and he also you as a loving mentor!
Thanks Lauren. I wait passionately for his next exciting write.
What a talent! I wish him the best nurturing he could get for his skills.
Thanks. I’m so excited.
[ Smiles ] You have a very talented grandson.
Thank you. I am so proud.
The writing gene is definitely there 😉
I hope he keeps it.
Apple doesn’t fall from the Grams lap now does it? LOL Wonderfully talented young man there Sis. Proud of Him!!!
Thanks my dear sister. I am proud of him. This is my oldest grandson.
Uh, jaw dropping here, Wow is all I can utter. This boy is twelve? Are you sure? The writing is not what I would expect in the first place, but add in the deep thought needed to wrap your mind around this concept and I am floored. Keep that boy stocked with pencils, papers and computers. I hope he sticks with it.
I know isn’t it amazing. When he first showed it to me I said you didn’t write this. He said yes I did grandma! He was adamant. When I got to the last few lines I had to help him out by making it clearer but they are all his thoughts. I
Elements
🙂
Beautifully imaginative piece of writing.
Isn’t it. Thanks 😉
Outstanding writing, what a great talent already!!!
Thank you. I just saw your comment.
How wonderful, Kim…. You must be so proud… 🙂
Yes I certainly am. Now I know who to give my unpublished work to.