I raised my kids to be aggressive and outspoken. I may have created monsters because they are very aggressive. I did so because I was a scary cat. My brother use to hide in wait to jump out and yell “BOOO” at me. Despite me knowing he was there I would still jump. My grand kids like to put rubber bugs near me and say look Gramma and I jump. If a car back fires outside I jump. Scary cat, that’s me. But not as scared as I was when I was young.
I had three physical fights growing up. I tell this story all the time. Three fights and three ass kicking’s. It wasn’t that I couldn’t fight. The same brother who would jump out and scared me taught me how to fight. I use to flip his friends on the ground and I had a good right punch. I was scared of hurting anyone. So I avoided conflict. My ex and I had a physical confrontation once night when he came in. He had me pinned to the floor somehow I got my legs between us then my feet on his chest. I’ll never forget his eyes opened as wide as the O his lips made as he went flying across the room.
My grandchildren are subject to bullying because they too, avoid conflict. They fight among each other yet they back each other if they someone bothers them in the street. My oldest grandson paid a bully five dollars to leave his friend alone. The bully took g-son’s money, wallet and beat him and the friend up anyway. These kids are high school boys and my grandson is in junior high, (middle school). My daughter put g-son in gym where he’ll learn boxing. If it was me I would have gone to the police.
Wait I did have a situation like that when I was a kid. There were a group of girls that wanted to beat me up because I was supposed to be messing with one of their friend’s boyfriend. But the truth of the matter it was the 70’s and there was racism among dark and light skin blacks. I was light skin. My hair is what they like to call good hair. These girls were dark and jealous. I was scared to go anywhere. I didn’t tell my mother or anyone else for that matter. I just tried to avoid them. I went with my brother, his wife and my boyfriend to the park. I didn’t know this is where those girls hung out. They came over and I went over to my brother and his wife. My brother argued with them and they back down. My boyfriend ignored the whole thing and he was the one they wanted to beat me up over. But after this day it all fizzled out.
I really don’t know how I avoided conflict. After that incident I became a 70’s pot head and life was just one high after another. We spent out days smoking, laughing and having unsafe sex.
Today I find I get annoyed easily and a lot. I snap at people. Maybe I’m just turning into a cranky old lady. I try to breathe and tell myself it doesn’t matter, because really it doesn’t. I get annoyed with rude and vain people. People who think they know what they are talking about and they don’t. Something inside me just snaps. I don’t like it. I use to be the one to smile and tell people forget about it.