On 10/2/14 I posted I Woke Up the Sun Slept In I scheduled this post for today because I’m getting ready to have surgery today to biopsy the nodule in my right lung. My pulmonary doctor says there’s a twenty / eighty percent chance of it being cancer. The surgeon says he doesn’t think it’s cancer. They won’t know until they get the sample out. I will be hospitalize for two to five days but as soon as I’m able I’ll tell you guys the results. If you don’t hear from me then I didn’t make it and I will visit you in your dreams. It’s not the surgery that has me nervous it the thought of the anesthesia and my sleep apnea.
Now you know why my recent poems have been so dark and why I was reluctant to take part in the #Nano Poblano. I tried to create a post and scheduled them for each day so I could keep up. I hope I have been successful. I scheduled this post on 11/6/14.
I started writing the following poem when I was first told it could be cancer. I wasn’t nor am I now afraid to die. I just don’t want to leave this life yet. I think I still have more to do. I am human and the thought of death did and does cross my mind. However I won’t walk into the light, the light will have to pull me cause I will be fight.
when death comes a knocking
like a bill collector
should I hide
or answer his demanding call
and plead for more life
when death comes a knocking
should I make a pot of tea
a shot of brandy perhaps
put a pillow under his head
and sneak out the back door
when death comes a knocking
should I plant my feet
stick out my chest
ball my fist
and knock him out
and send him away
when death comes a knocking
I’m standing my ground
without fear without regret
fight surges through me
I’m prepared to battle for my life
and death ain’t invited until I’m tired
©Kimberly Wilhelmina Floria 11/06/14
You keep knocking it DOWN, my friend YOU ARE STRENGTH
Because I could not stop for Death (712)
Emily Dickinson, 1830 – 1886
Because I could not stop for Death –
He kindly stopped for me –
The Carriage held but just Ourselves –
And Immortality.
We slowly drove – He knew no haste
And I had put away
My labor and my leisure too,
For His Civility –
We passed the School, where Children strove
At Recess – in the Ring –
We passed the Fields of Gazing Grain –
We passed the Setting Sun –
Or rather – He passed us –
The Dews drew quivering and chill –
For only Gossamer, my Gown –
My Tippet – only Tulle –
We paused before a House that seemed
A Swelling of the Ground –
The Roof was scarcely visible –
The Cornice – in the Ground –
Since then – ‘tis Centuries – and yet
Feels shorter than the Day
I first surmised the Horses’ Heads
Were toward Eternity –
Do not go gently … that is what I feel.. just like in the Seventh Seal I would do what I can to delay it.. I hope that in the end I can meet death like a an old friend and follow him gladly into whatever lies behind that curtain.
When death comes knocking on my proverbial door, I hope he finds me relaxing with a 7 inch cigar, and hears me say, “What took you so damn long?”
I am almost the opposite. I am not afraid, but I have no wish to fight; do desire for more days, nothing left to do. Enough, thank you and farewell.
Oops. That should read *no* desire , not *do* desire
You can do this.
I’m kinda late but I more than certain you pulled through. A poet has nine lives. The thought of leaving this world, unless it doesn’t come with prior notice, is reason enough to make even the mighty look miserable. God is going to see you through this.
My thoughts are with you Kim.. and yes you have so so much more living yet to do.. Keep standing your ground Kim.. that is the best possible thing we can do .. ..
Much Love your way.. and stay positive..
Sending Healing thoughts your way Kim..
Love ❤ Sue
Lots of love and prayers to you, and hope you don’t have to wait too long for the biopsy result. I’m willing it to be all okay and that you have many more years left in this world, my blogging friend xxxx
Darling Kimmy, of course you are going to knock death flying away form your doorstep!. You are sticking around till thy kingdom come. And I like the spirit of your poem. That said, I’m sending prayers and hugs to you my dear Kimmy. May God keep you safe and healthy and under His canopy of love. In Jesus name Amen.
You are in my thoughts and prayers, 🙂
(((HUGS))) and love being sent to you…
I hope all goes well for you Kim.
Hi Kim, looking forward to catching up with you after you’ve convalesced.
xoxoxo
Love this poem and I don’t know you -yet- so you have to stay alive to meet me. 🙂 You will be in my thoughts and prayers and I am looking forward to hearing the “good” news. NO CANCER!!
Thank you for your well wishes and I can’t wait to know you.
May many blessings come your way. 🙂
Good luck Kim. I hope all goes well for you.
I love that fighting spirit.
Hope everything turns out well. xxoo
Thank you?
Thinking of you sweetie xx
Keep up the battle – thinking of you, Kim x
I’m with you Kim. I’m not answering the door until I’m ready to walk through it. Love, Sheri
Here’s hoping all is good news for you, I myself will have a biopsy on my right breast tomorrow. My attitude is that I’m feeling positive.
All the best to you. I had one on the left breast last year and one on the right a few years bacl. I have to do mamo’s every 6 months.
Kim, sending mega blessings of healing your way. Your openness to acknowledge and bring LIGHT to the preciousness of life, with all it’s darkness inspires me and others to always reach for the sanctity of LIFE.
My prayers and thoughts are with you always.
Ametia
Kick that biopsy’s butt, Kim. You’re in my thoughts.
Been there – keeping you in our prayers
Hi Kim, I really hope and pray it’s good news and that you will be blogging again soon, in real time. Hugs xxxxxxxx
Adding healing and comforting thoughts your way.
Take your time to rest and recuperate.
It takes courage to proceed in any direction. May you find light everywhere, and anywhere you need it.
I am sending many, many healing, healthy vibes to you my friend. You will be back, I’m sure of it. You have too much life in you to walk to that light. May love and light always be yours my friend Kim. ❤
Good luck!
Thanks a million! Good job!
Sent from my BlackBerry 10 smartphone.
Love the poem. My thoughts and hopes are with you. I grateful to you and grateful to Mark for guiding me here today.
Just brilliant and I reblogged it.
Reblogged this on galesmind and commented:
I love this poem. Death can either be embraced or fought. Either way my friends he comes. Kimberly, brilliant job. As far as nanopoblano I think we need you and whether it is every day or just a few personally I think you add a lot of humanity and I would love to have you on our team.
Thank you for your kind words and your reblog.
Reblogged this on markbialczak and commented:
You are a proud soldier of life, Kimberly Wilhelmina Floria. I am proud to know you. This poem is knock-down splendid. So you. I will talk to you when you have rolled the 80 percent on the biopsy. If not, I will smile at you in my dreams and enjoy your company on the other side when it’s my turn.
Kim I come here via Mark and offer this prayer once given to me, on your behalf:
Dear God:
The lady reading this is beautiful, classy and
Strong.
Help her live her life to the fullest.
Please promote her and cause her to excel above her expectations.
Help her shine in the darkest places where it is impossible to love.
Protect her at all times, lift her up when she needs you the most,
and let her know when she walks with you, she will always be safe.
Amen.
Peace and love,
Diana xo
Amen.
Thank you Diana. I really appreciate your prayer. Once I get on the mend I will visit.
So good to hear from you Kim. Here’s hoping for a quick mend. 🙂
Diana xo