Tolerance a Work in Progress

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The other day I was getting out of a car in the pharmacy parking lot. With my Limited mobility it took me a while. There was a car trying to pass and she was beeping her horn. I closed the car door and noticed my pen on the seat. The car is for hire if I left my pen I may not see it again. You know writers and our pens so I opened the car reached in to retrieve it. The woman started beeping again. I didn’t have my oxygen or cane. I walked behind the car I got out of and my driver pulled off. The car waiting gunned her engine and passed within an inch from me. If I made one more step she would have hit me. I went outside myself and used several choice words that I found in the gutter and yelled at her. Her window was open so I know she heard me.

 
Then I found myself. I allowed this woman who didn’t have a clue I was disabled to include me in her road rage. Her not knowing I was disabled doesn’t excuse her reckless behavior. I am slow but not that slow. I mean it took me less than a minute to get out the car. She wouldn’t be any later than she already was. The number one rule you learn when getting your driver’s license is to always yield to the pedestrian.

 
But that is neither here nor there. The issue was me. I was fuming because I allowed this woman to brew up anger in me. I walked into the store wishing I took her plate number and reported her. That wouldn’t have changed anything. I wasn’t hurt so I breathed and put in my prescription. I smiled at the clerk and went on about my business.

 
I am not responsible for anyone else actions but my own. How I reacted to her behavior wasn’t really anger but fear. Realizing that she could have knocked me down or hit me head on scared me. Getting tapped or hit by a car could have caused serious injury to me with my disabilities. The fact is, she didn’t hit me. She wanted to stir the anger she must have felt waiting less than a minute for me to get out the car. She succeeded for a split moment before I realize it didn’t matter. Done is done and that moment passed.

 
I am only responsible for myself. I can’t change the way another person feels or reacts. I can only police my behavior. The truth of the matter I didn’t even miss a step. I continued on my course and life went on. I only became scared, angry and vengeful because that woman infected me. I know I am human and it was natural to let her virus to rub off on me but that is only because I allowed it.

 
I’m working on being happy and peaceful inside my own skin. One of the lessons I need to learn is tolerance. It’s a hard lesson to learn because I expect people to be thoughtful and caring. I realize the world is made of many different personalities each fighting a battle of their own realities. I don’t have any control over their behavior or thoughts like they don’t have over mine. However I can let them influence my behavior in the manner they pass on, that’s only if I allow them. It’s my free will to reject the filth they try to stain me with. I however can try to let a little of my harmonious aspirations rub off on them. Which I hope to remember the next time someone tries to alter my mood.

 

H.U.G.S.
Helping us grow spiritually

7/22/15

26 thoughts on “Tolerance a Work in Progress

  1. Great post.

    We start off our lives wanting to change everything and everyone in our world. As we come closer to the end, we find that we have not even succeeded to change our own selves……………..

    I have personally found that an effective way to stop myself from reacting to someone’s thoughtless and provoking behaviour is to hold the consciousness that what he/she does is really all about himself/herself, and never about me.

    Shakti

  2. Great that you said this Kim “I am only responsible for myself. I can’t change the way another person feels or reacts. I can only police my behavior. The truth of the matter I didn’t even miss a step. I continued on my course and life went on. I only became scared, angry and vengeful because that woman infected me. I know I am human and it was natural to let her virus to rub off on me but that is only because I allowed it.”

    I know at times its easier said than done.. People can and do wind us up because we allow them to push our buttons.. Crazy I know.. Only we end up hurting ourselves when we allow others behaviours to affect our emotions..

    I can so see how the thoughts of what could have been if she had have hit you with her stupid behaviour..

    People are so intolerant and road rage is rife even here in the UK.. Only the other day a retired man involved in a minor bump on the road got stabbed to death not once but multiple times.. Sometimes I think our brains are being a washed with rage as so absorbed within the mentality of aggression our society is being swamped by from the media.. Films TV.. etc..

    So pleased you are ok and didn;t let her behaviour get to you.
    Love and Hugs.. Sue

  3. Thank you for this powerful piece SH. I agree it’s important not to allow others’ behaviours to be contagious but at times it’s ok to be angry at their thoughtlessness, recognise the anger and let it go.
    I love that H.U.G.S. stands for Helping us grow spiritually!

  4. The other thing to remember is to forgive yourself if you do make a mistake.
    The other day I ‘spoke’ to my neighbors’ dog from my window asking ‘it’ to get out of my yard.
    Because of the plantings I have I didn’t see the dog’s owner, who then called the dog out of my yard.
    For a while I felt guilty. Even embarrassed. But it wasn’t me who disobeyed our town’s leash law.
    It was the manner in which I had ‘spoken’… I was just trying as quickly as I knew how to prevent the dog from doing more than ‘watering’ my lawn.
    And yes it does make a difference large or small. Once the dog thinks it has free reign it will be back.
    I actually think I have some dead spots because of the dog’s ‘watering’.

    Maybe my neighbor will keep better tabs on her dog for a little while. But she is the sensitive type who might just be offended because I don’t want to clean up after her dog, after all ‘it’ isn’t that much is it? And I know the neighbor has mobility issues, but that doesn’t make it right to not care for your pet properly.

    Good for you for letting go of anger and supporting the positiveness of the universe.

    Hugs to you!

    1. My grandmother had a perfect lawn in the front of our house. She would sit in the window and yell “get off my grass” when passerby’s mistakenly stepped on her grass. I wrote about the the place I know like the back of my hand and I described the lawn as, even dogs knew better than to poop on it. I do hope your neighbor teaches her dog to stay on her property. 🙂

  5. I’m also working on ‘being happy and peaceful inside my own skin’… not always easy. Well done, you managed to let go of the anger and stop hurting yourself!

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