“My ego won’t allow me to forgive because I am not at fault.”
“I can only see in black and white because my ego blocks a rainbow of colors.”
“I rather hold a grudge then let go and make amends because to surrender will bruise my ego.”
Tomorrow isn’t promised and you can’t get back yesterday today. The energy it takes to blame others for wrongs against you is allowing a thief to steal a piece of you and every piece of you is precious. Ego is a blinding handicap preventing us from seeing the errors of our own ways. It is easier to close our eyes then to see the face in the mirror. You are responsible for your own life, your own actions and the misdeeds you blame others for. Own it. You can’t change what other people feel, think or believe. To think otherwise is hubris. You can only change yourself.
We are like a single grain of sand, for it takes an infinite number of us to make a beach. We won’t survive if we drift away alone. We may think we don’t need the person next to us or that person who walked out of our lives years ago. Maybe we don’t but they may need us. But that ugly pride keeps the doors locked.
Each soul that we meet touches our heart and leaves an imprint on our lives. Every moment is a memory some micro, some macro. Memories are the seeds that grow into mighty trees. Sprouting saplings that will one day adorn buds that will bloom into vibrant leaves. Leaves that will one day offer a home for nesting, a cool breeze or shade from the blazing sun. Each leaf a memory for a season, growing then changing until it falls and blows away. A new season will spring and again buds will blossoms and create new leaves of memories.
When you forgive someone who has done you wrong you aren’t absolving them of their misdeed. Hell they might even wrong you again. Nine out of ten they aren’t sorry nor do they care if you forgive them or not. You forgive to cleanse the grime that causes residue funk to grow in your mind, heart and soul. Holding a grudge is like a gnat buzzing around your head. You swat it away but until you eliminate it, it won’t go away. When you continue to let the grime grow and fester it gets bigger, smellier and becomes sore that will never heal. Forgive and heal yourself. Let go of your ego and allow yourself to grow.
If we are mindful we will hear the beating heart in the blowing winds and crashing waves. We will see the light inside us when the sun reflects upon the moon. We will hear the songs in our soul when the birds sing and feel love when we embrace life. We will smell heaven in blossoming flowers and taste contentment when we eat the fruits of forgiveness. We are bound to one and other. We are strong together. Don’t let the ego separate us.
We already live a world where hate bubbles and explodes into fear. We built walls to protect ourselves from hate, a wall that we hide behind and prevents love from entering and embracing us. Lets take a bulldozer to that fear and knock down that wall and obliterate the ego and let love grow and reign free.
©Kimberly Wilhelmina Floria 8/7/15