What Face Are You Displaying?

Sadness by ArtOfNightSky on DeviantArt Found on Google
Sadness by ArtOfNightSky on DeviantArt
Found on Google

Sheri Bessi who writes Letters to Humanity wrote a post a few days reminding us to look beyond the physical being before us and look inside. We don’t know what battles the next person is fighting. What demons haunt them. We all handle the obstacles we stumble upon in life differently some of us lash out ready to hurt and maim whoever gets in our way. Some of us crawl into dark holes and hide. Some ignore the pain until it becomes unbearable.

 

When we are happy we want to spread the joy with laughter, song, and dance. If we are sad or hurting we pretend to be alright trying to maintain our privacy. In some cases, we want to avoid embarrassment. We even shun socializing to keep that sadness or pain under wrap. Some of us feed off that sadness because we don’t know what happiness  is.

 
People hide who they are because it is easier than having to explain who they really are. They don’t want the world to see or know they are hurting. So they put on the face they save for the world. They think we won’t notice they’re crumbling on the inside.

 

When asked, “how are you?”

 

They say, “fine, I’m okay.”

 

In reality, when people ask how you’re feeling do they really want to know? I don’t remember the movie it is but I know it’s Jack Nicholson who says, “you can’t handle the truth.” It’s more we don’t believe the truth. So we don’t share the truth. It’s sad that some of us hurt so badly with deep wounds.  So deep that we get lost and stumble in a cave of loneliness.

 

Those of us who are compassionate try to reach out to those hurting. We want to help, to comfort, and offer hope. That’s not always what they want. The best we can do for them is to let them be, give them their space. We can offer our face, our smile, and an open heart they can seek out if they choose to show their true face.

 

We, no I, I can only speak for myself. I offer love and compassion to all that I meet. Some will embrace and accept the sincere thoughtfulness. Others will need more time to warm up to smiling faces.  Sad, but, we aren’t use to kindness from strangers.

 

One thing I know and believe we shouldn’t let other people’s behavior dictate our reaction. Don’t let their hurt spill over into the cup we’re sipping out of. You don’t need that bitter taste on your tongue. This is what Sheri is sharing with us try being understanding without sacrificing our peace, our happiness.

 

©Kimberly Wilhelmina Floria

2/20/16

 

 

Stop by tomorrow and read A Woman’s Resolve

One more thing!!! I started new blog Hidden Temptation please follow as I share my writing and upcoming publishing process. As of now I will only be posting there on Tuesdays and now on Thursdays too.

19 thoughts on “What Face Are You Displaying?

  1. Very true and I’m very glad you posted this. So many judge what i s a disease, I’m still not sure …. WHY?

  2. I do attempt to be a compassionate individual. But when someone asks for compassion when all they have is a cold heart…it is hard.
    Guess I’m just going through a tough time with a family member who will give me no credit, but wants all of my sympathy.
    So right now… for them, there is no voice and no face.

    1. We are all human Jules. I tell my grandchildren to treat people the way they want to be treated. So one day my yongest grandson was calling my oldest grandson names and wouldn’t share. I told him to stop being so mean. He tells me I’m treating him the way he wants to be treated. In other words my oldest grandson was treating him badly. Kids. SMH. I hope things get better with the family member.

  3. Love this post. I remember years ago, when asked the question: HOW ARE YOU? or How you doing?

    I’d give a brief response, without thinking whether folks really wanted to hear how I was doing or not.

    One day, I listened to my self and others and folks who were going through a tough time, would reply. and folks who had similar experiences would join in.

    In other words, misery loves company. Not saying it’s positive or negative.

    My epiphany was; I wanted to become aware of my thoughts and feelings. I had control of them and how I would convey them and who I would convey them to.

    I was determined to come from a place of well-being. Actions follow thought. If I can believe it, I’ll see it.

    So now when folks ask me how I’m doing. My response is: “MOST EXCELLENT!” or BORDERING ON PERFECTION!” It’s uplifting, positive and has lasting consequences. and when I’m approached going forward, folks will let me know if they truly want to engage in a meaningful exchange. I’ll stay open and listen.

    Now as you can guess, I’ll get feedback in a number of ways.

    1. “Great, glad to hear it!’

    2. Wow, what’s got you in such a good mood?”

    3. The questioner will pick up on the vibe and follow suit. He/she is ‘most excellent’ as well. LOL

    4. The questioner will RUN.LIKE.HELL. away from me, because they aren’t interested in my ‘most excellent-bordering on perfection’ mood.

    I’m not saying I don’t have my moments of displaying my vulnerable self. That is reserved for my true friends and family that I trust.

    Not everyone has earned the right to step into my inner self; that is reserved for a select few. And I in turn will honor others space. If I’m approached by someone who wants to share from their deepest being. I can tell. I will put on my listening cap. Because truly, I’ve found that most folks, just want to be heard, validated. They don’t need or seek any wisdom from me. They just want to be HEARD.

    1. Hi Ametia, I just saw your replay. I get what you’re saying. That’s exactly how I feel about being happy. You know my health sends me to a dark place now and then. I learned how to shake it off and channel happiness and I try to spread it.

      Also I agree some people just want to talk and get things off their chest and being a good listener is what they need.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.

  4. I recall when I was quite young asking someone who entered a store I was working in…how he was…he replied “Do you really care?” Taught me a lesson. 🙂

  5. Kim, this is excellent advice. My wife is good about reaching out, but in a non-threatening and helpful way. On the flip side, she is the best of listeners, so she has to fight taking on other’s problems as it can be debilitating for her. It is particularly hard when her friend continues to do destructive behavior which brought on problems. Thanks for sharing this, Keith

      1. No. But they clearly thought I had broken the rules by actually tells them how I was. They were not only disinterested, they were mildly annoyed that I was taking up their valuable time.

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