Happy Thoughts

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Millie is right we should spend our days embracing happiness.

My health often gives me an audience with death and when faced with it I do concern myself with the affairs of the world. I may not be able to do anything about them but I worry for my grandchildren and for their children.

We are but visitors on this earth, guardians for the generations to follow and it is our responsibility to secure a better world for them. Sadly at this time I feel we are failing. Yes we can pass happiness on but all the politics and social issues will always get in the way.

We live in a messy world but I think our future looks bright. I think when we are facing imminent death we will be hoping for the future for our off springs. To hope for a government that is concern with ecology, economics and peace on earth. Maybe I’m too social conscience.

The above is an edited response to a post on Mystical Journey – Finding Joy in Your Life.

I am still pre-scheduling prior to my surgery at the time of this writing it is one day before this haunting election and two days before my surgery and I’ve been thinking about the outcome of both. I think I fear Trump being president more than my dying on the operating table.

I’ve been thinking about this same subject Millie discussed in her post. I think those of us who are fighting chronic illnesses and aging faster than we expected evaluate our lives and realize we wasted a lot of time on frivolous things that won’t be relevant on our death-bed. I know I wasted a lot of time worrying about the bills, the current events and things I can’t change. I lived a life with many regrets that I can’t change. I believe I should have chosen happiness more in my life as Millie suggested. I wish I became conscious of the world around me when I was younger. I think I could have made a change in this world.

Sleep has been more of a stranger in the past few weeks than usual. I attribute my insomnia to the election and my health. I’m laying here thinking about my 15-year-old grandson as I tried to will myself back to sleep.

Yesterday when I was leaving to come home my grandson walked me out and waited with me for my Access-A-Ride. It was dark and cold and I was talking to my sweet young man but getting this boy to open up was like trying to dig to China with a tea-spoon. When he was young he told me everything and I kept his confidence. He told me he doesn’t talk to anyone now. That broke my heart. A few months back he told me things have changed since I was young. Meaning I wouldn’t understand his world. That’s the same thing I thought when I was his age. Thank goodness he’s not doing the things I did when I was his age.

Technology, slang, the music and the fashion may have changed but not people. We live day-to-day doing what needs to be done to get to the next step school, work, family then death. Life in short hand. Like Millie said we waste too much time stressing over things that we probably won’t be thinking about in our final hours but our memories through life will play back in our minds and being a clueless teenager will probably give us a lot of should haves and could haves.

It’s the young people who need to learn how to embrace happiness, to seek it out. To prepare for a future of happiness they can build around.

As I mentioned I didn’t talk to anyone when I was in that age in between childhood and adulthood. I wish there was someone who took the time and said, things change but people are the same. We meet people who will come and go. Some will leave lasting effects others will be a passing breeze. We will fall in love, fall out of love and think our lives are no longer worth living. We will make mistakes and it’s okay as long as we learn. As long as we know right from wrong the mistakes shouldn’t hurt too much because we’ll get over them. I wish someone told me there was no rush to get older.

I wish I had someone like Millie when I was young to tell me happiness is the most important thing. Not being cool so I could fit in the in crowd. I knew my love ones would one day die but I wish I knew how quick time would pass so I could have gotten to know my family better.

Yes when facing death I hope to have many happy memories to reminisce about but I don’t think I will neglect thinking about the poisons that contaminate happiness. As I mention my children will be left in this world and I want it to be better than how it was when I found it.

Kimberly Wilhelmina Floria 11/7/16

Thanks for visiting come back tomorrow and read my new post Hate Don’t Live Here

7 thoughts on “Happy Thoughts

  1. Much wisdom in your words. Puts things into perspective…. Continuing to think of you, Kimberly…. (And I share your feelings about the election. Now that it’s over everyone I know is in shock. How could this happen? But like you say, even this pales in comparison to what REALLY matters.)

    Take care!

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