I spend a lot of time at home, alone watching TV, reading FB, twitter and WordPress. Occasionally I go to the store in my predominantly black and Latino neighborhood. It’s amazing no one bothers me, I hardly see any fightings unless I happen to go out when school let’s out. I’m not afraid of the kids but they can get rowdy. So I avoid 2:30 to 4pm store runs. I don’t drive anymore, if I don’t take Access-A-Ride I take the city bus the five blocks to and from the store. The kids on the bus can be loud and it gets crowded making it difficult for me to maneuver. I am not afraid to walk in my black community. Kids are being kids like I was only they get distracted with their phones, then they quiet down.
I use to live on the south side of Jamaica, Queens. Not too far from where Sean Bell was murdered. There were shootings nightly and gang fights in that hood. I had a bullet shot into the aluminum siding where I laid my head at night. Yet I wasn’t scared to walk through my neighborhood.
I lived in a housing project for a few years. The buildings I lived in were peaceful, but the buildings across from ours was called Beirut. I didn’t go there and I didn’t allow my kids over there.
The rule is if you don’t know the ghetto stay out of it.
Today I went to see my cardiologist to get cleared for my surgery on November 21st. I use to see an excellent black doctor in the ghetto. I really liked him but it was a two-hour wait before I got to see him for a 15 minute visit.
When I was first diagnosed with lupus I didn’t have insurance and I used the city hospital. Another excessive wait for a five-minute visit. When my medicare kicked in I considered going back to my black doctor. My friend suggested I see her Pulmonologist. My appointment was 10 am at 10 am I was sitting on the table and he was listening to my lungs. The office was 85% white.
Access-a-ride takes 15 minutes to get there. Every doctor in that community they call Lake Success sees their patients sometime a few minutes early. There are some occasions when they have emergencies and they are delayed to see you. It doesn’t happen much.
Today was my first time going out to Lake Success after the election. There were a rainbow of people in the office. The staff are all kind as they always were. However I was curious about the white patients waiting. I wondered did he vote for Trump or did she. I looked these people in the eye, nodded my head and smiled. One old man and his wife sat head to head whispering. One lady got close to the TV so she could listen to Barack Obama speak about his last foreign trips as commander and chief. There was a white man overly nice to me. Most smiled and were polite. I was nervous and thought if they wore the safety-pin I would know who was with her. New Yorkers voted 80% for Clinton. There’s still the 20% that voted Trump and I’m scared of them. But how can I recognize who is racist. Yea I know, I couldn’t tell who was racist before the election. But then I believed the numbers were low and it didn’t matter. Now I there are enough racist to elect a president who won with a theme of hate and division. That’s my fear.
I’ve read that some black people think wearing the pin is bull shit. That this election revealed white people as being predominately racist. I refuse to accept that. They say white folks want to wear the pin to make them feel better. Unlike most black people I believe we can come together as a united front. I believe most white people are disgusted by the election results.
This old, disabled, weak, sorta gay black woman wants to see the pin. I want to know you have my back if a 6 foot 3 inch white supremacist starts to attack me you will pull him off me? Or if you saw me hiding behind your car will you open the door and drive me away? What if I was trying to run from a gang of kkk’s would you jump in despite being out numbered? What I’m asking will you die for me, beside me?
Or does your support means you’ll call 911 so there will be some more ass kicking. Or maybe that support means you’re going protest this election and get out and fight to get more democrats elected to the house and Senate.
I tell you I’m happy to have your support. Will you at least get me to the hospital when they finish stomping on me?
Kimberly Wilhelmina Floria 11/14/16
Thanks for visiting come back tomorrow and read my new post Who You Blaming? It’s Someone’s fault